Bitterness

When you look up the word "family" in the dictionary you will find, "...a domestic group of people (or a number of domestic groups), typically affiliated by birth or marriage, or by analogous or comparable relationships — including domestic partnership, cohabitation, adoption, surname and (in some cases) ownership (as occurred in the Roman Empire)." This is a generic term for what most would feel the word family means. We understand the meaning of family as something more emotional and tangible then the generic term we are given. Although it is understood we are genetically connected, we have the ties and bond of blood, which is the closest form of being connected. We share specific genes and visible characteristics that tie the bond even tighter for our families. With all of this knowledge of how we are connected to one another, why is it that we can be so distant from the ones closest to us? Why are we bonded through genetics but separated by bitterness?

We are born into a family as a child. Helpless in every way but more alive than ever we are born into this world. We are completely dependant upon those around (family) to take care of our needs. Knowledge at this point is nearly void and we know nothing other than the things we feel. Children are born barely being able to see so there sense of feeling is the only one they know. Trusting that they will be freed from hurt and pain they cry, crying is the only response they know. From the moment of birth and through the years that pass, life unfolds the cards it has dealt. The emotional bond is formed and we are connected with no strings attached.

Skipping past the first 18 years of ones life, circumstances and problems arise in the home and families are torn apart. This could be from divorce, abuse, financial crisis's, broken promises, distrust, alcohol and drug abuse and that only naming a few. The broken relationship is not what I am referring to but the separation of bitterness. Bitterness is the feelings that have developed over long periods of time and surface much later in life. It is when parents once so connected in conception can be so separated by simple differences. The feeling of rejection is the most devastating feeling to get from a family member. It is so strong because of the emotional ties that are held and how sensitive we are to their perception. Sociology refers to this as self-concept. We are given are self-esteem and concept by our parents at a young age. Then it seems as we become older and wiser in the ways of life, we make our own decisions and if they are not in harmony with what our family feels is right then we are shunned. The simple act of change is the hardest for us as human beings. We resist change therefore we fight it and push change away. This resistance leads to rejection and the rejection leads to the separations and then bitterness is birthed into out lives. The pregnancy period lasts for 9 months in most cases and then a birth happens. The same is the way bitterness starts. It is conceived inside of us and a root is planted and before we realize, time has gone by and bitterness has already been born and we cannot seem to figure from where it came. Can we continue to reject the family we have around us over simple things that hardly matter or will be set aside our differences and mend the relationships that are bonded by blood?


This topic of bitterness in families is something that I have seen far too much of in times past. It is a topic that will never end either because of our stubborn nature and emotional pride. "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes...” the scripture so clearly states, but yet we are so quick to judge another for their possible faults. I feel there is no right or wrong way to remedy the problem of bitterness but just a simple step in the right direction and more knowledge can effect a change sooner than some people think.